Relationships are fulfilling if we have a model & skills to feel seen, understood, accepted, chosen and valued when in conversation with others.
Relationships are devastating when our model & skills for relationship fail.
This portal opens up a library of my writings on Relationship and Intentional Language.
Inside is the story about you and your relationships. How you became you and why life fulfillment is often illusive given the choices made along the way.
There are also tools and skills used world wide with clients that are explained throughout. I offer them freely in the expectation you will find & understand your own story, realize a more fulfilling life and have deeper inner peace.
No one really knows the truth of why we are here - what we are suppose to do. We have either forgotten where we came from or life is the imaginings of a conscious-mind giving meaning to it's existence. I do believe, regardless of these imaginings, that a fulfilling life comes from being patient, generative, and serving others.
My writings span from 1970 with the majority written during my consulting years of 1984-to the present. The purpose of these writings has always been to describe what's missing in my relationships and what I observe missing in others. From these observations I tell a story of the inheritance of a relationship model from parents that partially works, but often fails to give us fulfillment.
The Buddha said it this way, "Life is suffering. Suffering come from desire." My story says that life is suffering because our relationship model is flawed. We desire love; we desire to be seen, understood, accepted, chosen and valued. We desire this from others, yet others are hard pressed to get it for themselves, much less give it to us.
I recognized years ago that relationships are formed by what's available and what's missing in each person's model for relationship. What's missing in us, we will look for in someone else - for better or worse.
Character and Value
When I meet you I will listen to your beliefs, knowledge, politics, expertise and journey. I will listen to your story.
You can rant or speak softly. It doesn't matter to me.
You can be in rags or royal robes. It doesn't matter.
You can be young or old. It doesn't ...
You can shovel, teach, sell, or preach. It ..........
But listening to you doesn't tell me who you really are. I mustask others.
I will ask the people in your life how you behave around them.
I will ask the people in your life how you behave if stressed, once angered or when confronted.
I will ask the people in your life how you behave in traffic, while waiting in line or caught lying.
I will ask the people in your life how you talk to other people and about other people.
I will ask the people in your life how you behave when an apology is called for.
I will ask others about your shadow self.
Only then will I know your character and the value of that which you profess.
Life Is About Relationships!
Life is about relationships.
Relationships are based on conversation.
Conversation is constrained by early childhood models.
Models determine the success or failure in relationship.
Success is achieving the desire or result expected from a conversation.
To be in relationship, where you are valued unconditionally and challenged behaviorally, is to achieve life's greatest gift
No one is holding back a better model than the one they are using right now.
No one consciously lays awake at night thinking of ways to sabotage work or personal relationships unless their model for relationship has run out of options.
"Boil down the rush to succeed, distill the sea of temporary fulfillment, and filter out perceptions of right verses wrong, and on our deathbeds we
see that life is about what we have experienced in relationships.”
Bad Behavior Projection
"We have all made references that describe other's “bad” behavior. We verbally or silently point out “bad” behavior in others every day.
Musicals, films, plays, television, radio and operas all focus on “bad” behavior themes.
Newspapers, magazines, books, tapes and DVD’s amplify our own fear of being caught doing “bad” behavior. That’s why we love them-we can project the "bad" on to others. We all have a vicarious need to project “bad” behavior out side of ourselves.”
"Who we are & how successful we are in life, depends on the breadth of the people who we can productively relate to & generate with, without feeling the debilitating residue of not being enough."
Copyright © 1984 - 2015. Scott Taylor Consulting All Rights Reserved.