Seen
Understood
Accepted
Chosen
Valued
The Five Intentions are the core of what we want from others in relationship. The degree of these five intentions are passed down from parents and to them from their parents.. However, if parents did not receive the ability to experience a healthy relationship model when children, they were then incapable of passing one on to us.
We received parts of each intention from our parents, but never a working model of all five. Each of our relationship histories is proof of these missing intentions. We may be very good at feeling value, but often not from the people who matter to us. Why this is true is that everyone has their own dysfunctional model with missing parts. Most romantic relationships are build from one person having one developed intention that is missing in the other. Feels perfect in the short term, however soon becomes the mote in the eye.
Being Seen
A physical feeling spontaneously arises when you are identified by your proper name, a nickname, a title or earned degree (being seen). By correctly naming you I'm saying you exist. The opposite of this feeling arises when I forget your name or misname you (not seen).
Being Understood
A feeling spontaneously arises when asked a series of questions about what you are talking about (being understood). I understand you only by asking questions that deepen your ideas. The opposite of this feeling arises when I interrupt you with my personal opinion or story.
Being Accepted
A physical feeling spontaneously arises when I verbalize that you are a whole person - (a combination of your positive & negative behaviors, your beliefs & opinions) are acceptable to me. The opposite of this feeling arises when your behaviors, opinions or beliefs are criticized without reference to something positive.
Being Chosen
A physical feeling spontaneously arises in you after I have chosen you, singled you out or spoken of you as positively unique (being chosen). The opposite of this feeling arises when I ignore your accomplishments and remind you how unique I am and how lucky you are to have me in your life.
Being Valued
A physical feeling spontaneously arises in you of ‘being full,’ energetic and loaded with creative abundance when I speak of your value to me (being valuable to me).The feeling is of value and worth. The opposite of this feeling arises when I only speak to your behavior and fail to include you as your core Intentions.
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