Executive Coaching Workbook







            Using only symptomatic solutions to solve problems is a sign of underinvestment in the fundamental problems that drive behavior.

            Underinvestment means building less capacity, skills, and structure than is  necessary for employees to resolve problems.

            Appropriate investing means adding or improving capacity, skills and structure of the employees.


Benefits of Healthy Structures

            Problems still arise, yet they are seen as opportunities, part of the job.


            Personal agendas are an integrated part of the teams overall process.


            Others behavior is not taken personally, but seen as feedback about the environment.


            Various individual sub-territories are flexible and integrated to meet systems changing requirements.


            Individuals find meaning by being involved in solving problems with others .


            Members responds, rather than reacts, to others through well defined boundaries.


            Openness to teams assessment of inappropriate technical, administrative or interpersonal skills of team members. 


            Responsive creative tension is separated from reactive emotional tension.




Is most difficult when the client:


            1.         Feels like a victim of external pressures.

            2.         Denies there is a personal problem.

            3.         Has an extremely introverted emotional style.

            4.         Lacks basic skills of expression and communications.

            5.         Has a highly mental (deep thought) managerial style.

            6.         Is cut off from feelings.

            7.         Senses fear and mistrust in the organization.

            8.         Experiences the corporation as dysfunctional in it's overall behavior.

            9.         A negative picture has been painted about change and growth processes.

            10.       Sees that the working environment has succumbed to territorialism,

                        back biting, blaming, accusing, projecting fault on others, and poor              productivity.



Consultant meets with boss to confirm current and desired behaviors.


Boss obtains agreement of client to be coached .


Initial meeting with client to establish working relationship.


Image Assessment & Questionnaire completed.


Coaching sessions include understanding of:

              Value and belief systems

              Normal versus healthy individual & corporate           systems

              Compulsive-addictive behavioral systems

              Process of projection

              Reaction versus response to the environment

              Destructive cycles

              Professional support systems



              Personal presentation and communication skills

              Management and leadership skills

              Meeting effectiveness


              Planning and organizational skills


Three way meetings to gain confidence that behavior is changing and to verbalize needs.




            PROBLEM:  How can the disabling effect of an employes early life conditioning be measurably reduced when their corporate performance is under pressure and stress.

                        SOLUTION:   Because there is a strong correlation between early life conditioning and later career success, the key disabling factors (root causes) that make an employee fall back on early survival behavior, can be identified.  They can then learn to respond professionally to problems, rather than  react habitually and inappropriately.


            RESULTS:   Employees gain more focus, energy, balance, motivation, productivity and self-confidence; develop a willingness to listen and demonstrate more appropriate leadership behavior, more self-esteem, meeting effectiveness, and delegation; and use clear interpersonal and communications skills overall.


100% Responsibility For Our Feelings

            For all of the success and setbacks that we have experienced.  Learn what it means to be free, responsible, accountable for our life.  Anything less is to except a "victims" role for which their are then no solutions to life's problems.  We cannot change people or events, we can only consciously or less consciously participate.

Name the Primary Stressors

            Current behavior is driven by unknown, underlying reactions to major stressors in our early childhood experience.  In order to survive, to make our world normal, we all had to use childhood magic.  This magic made us bad and authority figures right.  This magic made us cover over, black out, deny what really happened to most of us by parents and authority who themselves were mistreated.  From survival beliefs, to choices made at school, to majors chosen in college, to partners chosen to create families, to the type of organization we joined, to the rewards and promotions accepted, and even to the extracurricular activities we enjoy.  All are controlled somewhat by primary compulsive-addictive behavior and fears learned from parents and other authorities as our role models.

No Blame Rule

            Adults in our earlier life are not to be subject to shame by our blaming them for what they did not know.  We know that shame causes shaming, abuse leads to more abuse in an endless cycle passed on from generation to generation as a most painful inheritance.  As we find out more about how our childhood really was experienced, we can affix responsibility for inappropriate behavior on these adults.  It is important to the recovery of healthy emotions that we know who was responsible.  However, in order to be healthy we must choose to let go of  being victims completely.  This will take time as well as deep and authentic effort.


            We only have a choice in our behavior if we are able to feel our boundaries and the effects that the environment has on them.  This effect or feedback is essential for life itself.  If our early childhood experiences have required us to shut off feeling and emotions, then we have no sense of the qualities of self.  No sense of where our boundaries begin and end when an authority figures approaches.  Everything is more or less emeshed.  We find ourselves confused when confronted with interrelationships.  This is all the "hard wired" programming from childhood.  We must learn about the self and the healthy boundaries that separate us from others and learn how to respond from clarity rather than react from fear.


            This has two polar aspects connected by a large continuum.  On one side is the positive, natural function of projection.  This allows us to see and receive feedback about our ideas and behavior.  It consciously and unconsciously tells us we exist.  We can see our selves mirrored in others.

            On the other end of the continuum, the negative or blaming projection.  This is mostly an unconscious projection of less than helpful nature on to another person, a group, an organization, an ideology, or even a country.  The core reason for all of these projections is a fear in the individual of someone seeing in them- selves the same thing they are projecting onto another.  The need to protect and project the deep pain inside, out weighs even concrete, rational facts before our eyes.  Underlying all projection is the need to mood alter away from something.


Key Concepts 2


            This has two polar aspects connected by a large continuum.  On one side is the positive, natural function of projection.  This allows us to see and receive feedback about our ideas and behavior.  It consciously and unconsciously tells us we exist.

            On the other is of the continuum, the negative or blaming projection.  This is mostly an unconscious projection of less than helpful nature on to another person, a group, an organization, an ideology, or even a country.  The core reason for all of these projections is a fear in the individual of someone seeing in them the same thing they are project on another.  The need to protect the deep pain inside, out weighs even concrete, rational facts before our eyes.  Underlying all projection is the need to mood alter.


Mood Alter


Addictive-Compulsive Behavior


Show Up

            Lead a balanced life between home, vocation and community so you can come to any situation rested, conscious, prepared, full of questions, solutions and energy. 

            Be sensitive to others needs and pain. 

            Understand the whole system, the big picture and your own part to play. 

            Know your intrinsic value in relationships with others.



Pay Attention

            Be aware of the total environment internally and externally. 

            Feelings, emotions, intuitions are all working in concert with intellectual, logical and pragmatic skills. 

            Be aware of deep fundamental issues through the infinite ways others give clues to there desires.



Tell The Truth

            Rigorous, relentless willingness to see the ways we sabotage, deceive and limit ourselves from seeing reality. 

            To continually challenge our personal mental models mindsets and theories of how life is. 

            Commitment to seeing more and more of the "playing field." 

            Continually deepening our understanding of the structures underlying current events, and our own inner structures with our own conflicts and behavioral problems.



No Attention To Outcomes

            Do all that is healthy and supportive for others by working your own issues first, second and third.  All we can do is recover more and more of what we lost in childhood and re-build our inner structure.  Through this effort others will automatically be supported.  Then they to will also have the choice to react          and be victims, or to learn how to respond and be healthy.


VISION (Warrior)

            1.  A specific destination, a picture of        a desired future.


            2.  It is concrete.


            3.  It is getting to a specific place.


            4.  It is breaking the four minute               mile.




            Nothing happens until there is a vision.

            Vision without an underlying                 purpose is just a good idea.

            Its not what the vision is, its what it does to energize you.

General Concepts

Creative Tension vs Emotional Tension

            Creative or emotional tension is created by the gap between one's vision (dreams, illusions) and current reality.

            It is an energy potential and it exists as a tension seeking release.

            Emotional tension results from inner survival beliefs in conflict and threatened by the external environment.

            Creative tension is releases by moving towards fulfillment of a vision.

            Emotional tension can be released by lessening one's vision.

            Goals erode because of our low tolerance for emotional tension.

            Eroding of goals, visions, morals, or principles is a gradual process.

            We allow our goals to erode when we choose not to live with tension that which allows an active force to be present.




            Is a shortfall, temporary or fatal, that makes evident the gap between vision and current reality.

            Provides an opportunity for learning a more accurate picture of current reality.

            It is about things that didn't/don't work.

            It is about the clarity of the vision.

            Is the pathway work under your feet as you move forward.

Root Cycles of Behavior

BE        DO       HAVE



            Why is it that when a group of good people get together with excellent education, planning and strategy skills, years of accumulated work experience, motivation, and the resources to complete desired projects, the inevitable happens between the individuals and within groups:


                        •  Communication breakdowns occur,

                        •  Performance and commitment level go down,

                        •  Interpersonal conflicts arise, remain unresolved, and

                        •  Interaction goes from agreement to misunderstanding and                 distrust.


            If we eliminate poor technical, management or administrative skills of employees as the problem, we are left with the possibility of an internal process within each individual.  This process somehow surfaces and disables the employee under stress.  This disabling process, rooted in our basic survival beliefs, overshadows our rational, logical mind and can show up in the work place in the following ways:

             • Anxiety  • Territorialism  • Misunderstood communications  • A lack of or inappropriate risk taking  • Insecurity   • Blaming others   • Immaturity                • Depression   • Indecisiveness   • Inability to delegate  • Poor decision making abilities  • Shortsightedness  • Burnout  • Lack of diplomacy  • Dictatorialism


The Solution

            Common sense shows that the above dysfunctional behaviors cannot all be eliminated in the best of employees, nor would we try too.  However, often after a period of intense, confidential, one-on-one coaching the employee is able to:


                        •  Identify the conditioning elements that reduce performance,

                        •  Re-focus inappropriate behavior when under stress, and

                        •  Choose new, more appropriate actions that are less limiting to overall            job performance.


            Accelerated resolution of the problem is possible because the majority of employees are highly motivated to reduce conflict in their work situation.  This  is accomplished by:

                        •  Quick identification of and focus on the root causes of most                        communication breakdowns and conflict,

                        •  Quick resolution of employees problem through learning new                      communication and practical business skills, and

                        •  Developing a clear feedback process to show specific improvement to                    their boss, peers, reports and other employees.        


























(personal growth,

self-awareness, creativity)



(self-image, status, popularity)



(love, friendship, affection)



(safety from attack, shelter, basic income)



(food, water, air, reproduction)







            Most of us live our daily lives some distance behind our eyeballs.  Depending on a variety of internal and external factors, we automatically move back and forth on a continuum from consciously projecting our thoughts beyond our physical boundaries, to retreating deep into layered, less conscious states of awareness within ourselves.

            Furthermore, depending on our inner beliefs, values, principles and health there is a tendency to lose conscious awareness of the physical world and retreat into the habitual/addictive patterns of our mind during times of stress, fear or shame.

            Lastly, as circumstances internally or externally change so does our face, tone of voice, posture and gestures.  Very often we unknowingly give contradictory and confusing messages to others.



            What is true for the Presenting System is also true for the Receiving System - both operate some distance behind their roles, personality and beliefs (eyeballs).  What the presenter does not see is rarely entered into his or her total communication formula.  A great deal of clarity is lost and information misunderstood when the receiver is not focused on the presenter. 

            The skilled presenter knows that the receiver is showing constant changes in facial muscles, breathing rate, eye movement and other physical gestures and postures while listening.

            If we do not possess the skills to continually focus receivers attention on what is being said while we speak, we will pay for their lack of attention and misunderstandings in the long run.


Core Beliefs:

            •Rejection        •Physical Appearance             •Money/Worth           •Level of Education     •Men/Woman Issues   •Race/Creed/Color       •Spiritual Meaning          •Relationships •Life Purpose  •Vocation        •Success          •Appreciation


            As the environment changes, internally or externally, the lenses move without our being aware of the re-alignment.  In order to become consciously aware of our reaction or our response to changes, we need to understand the survival beliefs learned in our youth.




            •  Every small choice made today brings about      a dramatically different tomorrow.

            •  Choosing to follow our highest sense of                    right is done by trusting ideas that we are      unsure will work.

            •  We have constant choice to rise above dead               systems; to refuse to be part of those            systems that separate people and create       fear.

            •  No one can help someone who's problem is              the denial of the problem.

            •  No matter how intelligent or deserving we    are, we will never be better off unless we      can imagine it for ourselves and are willing                 to shed the skin of our habitual past.

            •  It is uncomfortable enough to experience       failure when we let go of a failed choice, but      it's worse still when the choices we've been       living our life by turn out to be wrong.

            •  In the end it's the choices we made to               learn, grow and stretch that really matter.

            •  We design our lives through the power of      our choices.

            •  We can change anything, at anytime, by        choice.

            •  Powerful ideas are impotent unless made      manifest in some way to make life better.


The Concepts of Home, Family and Peace


The Questions

Where did I come from?

What am I supposed to do while here?

What is my relationship to others?

Where will I go when finished?

Does life have purpose and meaning?

How can I really know the answers to these questions?


The Commonalties

A sense of a within (consciousness, unconsciousness, shadow, primitive).

A sense of a body that I live in.

A sense that choice alters life.

A sense of continuation beyond death.

A sense of connection to something greater than myself.

A sense of home, being taken care of, incongruance inwardly and outwardly.





Our partners, co-workers, bosses, friends and even strangers make us feel anxious by stirring up the hidden roots of our original pain.   They also seem to display the same negative traits as our parents - that is what makes them so valuable to our recovery.


Relationships with others usually contains a mixture of three factors - Transference, Projection and Denial.


            This is done consciously or unconsciously when we transfer the feelings we had/have for our parents onto others.


            When hidden emotions reach a threshold they are projected onto another person who has similar characteristics as our parents.


            The pain and anguish caused by parents is denied and re-channeled into acceptable compulsive behavior.


Characteristics of Relating To Others

All relationships have a hidden purpose - the revealing of and the healing of childhood wounds

We need to:

            Re-create, continuously, a more and more accurate image of others.

            Take responsibility for communicating our need and desires to others.

            Be more consciously intentional in interactions with others.

            Learn to value others needs and desires as we value our own.

            Contain our projections and find their source in our Shadow.

            Continually learn new skills to satisfy new levels of our needs and desires.

            Open ourselves to identify abilities we are lacking.

            Become aware and nurture your desire to have and be connected to all of life.

            Accept that all relationships will change us for the better.



            At birth we had a 360* individuality-personality.  Very soon after we were instructed by our parents about what was good or bad, right or wrong.  By the time we reached 4 years of age, deep patterns were developed to cover our individuality and form multi-generational patterns into our personality.  Our personality was strengthened year by year by showing others our "best" side.  All things that received negative feedback were shoved deep into our unconscious minds.  By the time we left home very little of our original self could be seen.  Between the ages of thirty-five and fifty-five the back flow of the unconscious begins to release repressed thoughts that tend to throw our stability into confusion.  We then either expand and expose our hidden self or we contract and put tremendous stress on our physical and psychological selves.



One Way Mirror

            •  Necessary survival beliefs of childhood cover up inner fear and pain           experienced when we where young.

            •  Necessity to keep the pain covered requires strong denial structure and      belief system.

            •  Acceptable way is to project our hidden negativity onto others making       them a scapegoat.  Positive mood alteration takes place.

            •  Projected thought is held on victim and support for projection is solicited              from others.  Group mood alters positively from a negative action.

Two Way Mirror

•  Own my projections on other people.

•  Denial level reduced so others can see inside me.

•  Blind spot moves backwards revealing wounded child.

•  Increased awareness into self and others.


When we are operating from a dysfunctional system, the energy and attention used to relate to the environment is dammed up into oneself. This activates the unconscious part of the psyche, overloads the unconscious, so that one's Shadow comes alive, and then you are caught for better or worse.  Either the personal evil and demons will turn you back to your compulsive behavior or you will find greater inner realization.

This backed-up energy first strengthens the "autonomous complexes" in the unconscious.  This can be a war with thousands of different demons within us.

By writing down and with "active imagination" these demons can be dealt with in a way that removes them from the unconscious.

Loneliness can pile up whatever you have in your unconscious.  It will come up first in a projected form.  Most people cannot stand such a situation like this for long. We need the companionship of other people to protect themselves from the Shadow demons.

One day I decided to go to the Redwoods and stay in a friends cabin for several nights.  I was 22 or 23 years old.    ....................

When we go into nature we need to respect Her power and the effect it can have on our animal nature.  If you go into nature alone you must constantly draw a 'golden ring' around yourself by physical or mental means.  Your own personal objects will provide the same protection.

Each of us needs a golden ring to protect us from super-personal or the terrifying forces of the unconscious.  If we live away from other people for awhile, other people will project their shadows on us.  Yet, warm human contact dissipates those clouds of projection.  When people can not understand something they project their own evil self.





            A  Positive projection: When we positively project a thought onto another person we also own that thought within ourselves.

            B  Negative projection: When we negatively project thoughts onto another person we seldom see those thoughts belonging to us.  This type of projection is happening most of the time we are with people.  We do it in order to stabilize our own fears and our sense of who and what we are. We must project onto others what is negative in our own shadows.  This is called "Normal" projection.  Other people show us who we are by the reactions and responses they have when we attempt to communicate.  Much like looking into a mirror we see ourselves and unconsciously adjust our communication with little awareness of the effect.  We do this by linking the other person's self with their behavior (If they make a mistake, they are a mistake).

            C  Internal projection:  When we have low self-esteem and accept internally what another has said about us we make them our higher authority.   Healthy boundaries are needed to know what is truth and what is projection.



            The greater control we use to maintain our survival personality, the greater the corresponding pressure develops to experience release.  (i.e. earthquake faults, volcanos, diets, etc...)


            It's like trying to hold two beach balls underwater at the same time.


            So, in regards to projection of thoughts onto others, the more we deny our own negative shadow the more we need to project and hold it on someone else.  The more pressure their is, the more shame we feel and the cycle requires us for short term gain to continue projection out to mood-alter.



Addiction is an attempt to control the uncontrolable cycles - the ups and downs of life.  These cycles are normal.

Addiction is a process that is progressive - seen as a illness that undergoes continuous development from a definite, often unclear, beginning toward an end point.

Addictions cause an out of control and aimless searching for wholeness, happiness, and peace through a relationship with an object or event in order to produce a desired mood change.

Addiction is an attempt to make emotional sense out of life.

Addiction starts out as an emotional illusion.

Addiction is very logical, but is based on emotional logic.  Talk therapy won't work.  Client must surface their feelings.  Emotional needs are often very urgent and compulsive.  Emotional logic works to satisfy this urgency even if it is not in the best interest of the person.  When emotional pressures build the addict must give into the addiction to obtain relief.  Emotional logic pits the person against himself.  Emotional logic is cunning, baffling and powerful.

Addiction is a pathological (abnormal, deviation from healthy or normal) love and trust relationship with an object or event.


Acting Out is when an addict engages in addictive behaviors or addictive mental obsessions.

Acting Out is a way to create certain feelings that cause an emotional and mental shift within the person.  An illusion of being in control is experienced when acting out.  The mood change created by acting out creates only an illusion of being nurtured.

Acting Out is a way to escape from the pressure and stress of everyday life and from the shame and pain created by the addictive process.


Addicts keep delaying life issues as a way of nurturing themselves.

Addicts build a defense system to protect the addictive belief system from others.

The addicts suffering takes place on an emotional level.  Addicts are trying to get their need from intimacy met through an addictive relationship.

Addicts slowly begin to relate to people like they do objects.  People become one dimensional objects to manipulate.  Treating people like objects leads to greater distance and more isolation from others.

Addicts treat themselves like they treat others.  In treating themselves like objects, they subject their emotions, mind, spirit and body to many different dangers, stressors, breakdowns.


Once a person starts to look to an object or event for emotional stability, he is building the foundation of an addictive relationship with it.

The normal way to achieve intimacy involves reaching out to life, to others and then into our selves.  In addiction, the reaching motion is almost totally inward to the point of withdrawal.  When the addict connects with their addiction, they withdraw and isolate themselves from others.

The longer an addictive illness progresses, the less a person feels the ability to have meaningful relationships with others.

The seductive part of addiction is that addicts begin to trust the addictive mood change because it's consistent and predictable.  For addicts, objects are more consistent, predictable and dependable than people.  Addicts don't trust people.

Addictive relationships are guaranteed every time.  No human relationship can make that claim.


The process of being driven by compulsive-addictive behavior is an attempt at intimacy with others.

Mood-alteration is repeated to avoid feelings of loneliness, hurt, being a mistake, failure that point to deep feelings of shame.

Each acting out creates more life damaging consequences, which creates more shame.

New shame fuels the compulsive-addictive cycle.


            • Professional support system • Creative fun  • Balance of love, work and play           • Investigation of critical core questions     • 12 Step recovery program • Normalize diet and exercise • Group sports and social activities • Men's or women's support group • Create a stable financial plan • Clean out unused belongings



1.    It is not okay to talk openly about problems.


2.    Feelings or emotions should not be expressed openly.


3.    Communication is best if indirect, with one person acting as the messenger between two others.


4.    Be loyal, good, right, and perfect.


5.    Make me proud and give us your all.


6.    Don't be selfish.


7.    Do as I say and not as I do.


8.    It is not "really" okay to play or be playful.


9.    Don't rock the boat by asking the wrong questions.


10.  If all else fails fire the messenger.


11. Work hard, don't complain and sacrifice.


12. Trust me, I have more information.


13. Product is more important than people.


14. Don't mix your personal and professional lives.


            Organizations are addicts when...



            1.  ...Their processes have become unmanageable and they are powerless to change their organization...


            2.  ...They have become increasingly involved in the dysfunctional cycle, rather than positive long term gain choices...


            3.  ...Their organizational processes have lost their sense of values and personal integrity...


            4.  ...They function primarily out of characteristics such as self-centeredness, the illusion of control, dishonesty, dualism, secrecy, blaming, accusing, withholding, short term thinking and territorialism...


            5.  ...They become progressively out of balance and isolated from feedback coming from their community, society, family, and friends...


            6.  ...They become internally more chaotic, exert progressively more control over those on whom they depend and on their immediate surroundings...


            7.  ...Their thinking process is confused, obsessive, and paranoid-like...


            8.  ...They actively support and reward work addiction as a model for success.




            There is no real possibility for change and transformation in the organization unless those involved recognize that they are addicted and function the same as an active addict.




            It is difficult to give a blueprint for how an organization might behave as it begins to recover from it's addictive-compulsive process.  However, the following may suggest signs to look for as recovery takes place.



1.          The mission of the organization would be supported by the             structure and appropriate behavioral change observed.


2.         There would be awareness that the structure and the system, that is, the way of organizing the work, are integral to the company's mission and must support and facilitate the work of the employees.


3.         Organizations would be moral, ethical and operate from total integrity.


4.         Organizations would develop permeable boundaries and remain vulnerable in order to stay responsive to their environment.


5.         Communication in recovering organizations would be characterized as multidirectional and based on a common intention that all participants will win.


6.         Leadership in organizations would be diffused and situational - stronger when confusion is present and local when all is well.


7.         Organizations would alter their view of change.


8.         Would not fire the messenger.


9.         Would develop support systems to aid employees.


10.       Would support individuals balancing their lives between home, vocation and community.

The Missing Link &
The Ritual Space


Actual Reality- Boundaries, recovery, conscious, aware, awake, acceptance;  Daily experience is balanced and healthy;  Long term cycles & patterns are understood (truth and myths) and are a choosing process.


            Ritual space is where the mythological and the psychological move into the work place.  In this space we create a tension that allows the mythological to be experienced on a daily level. 

            The ritual space invites us to move towards integrating the conscious and the unconscious.  The space must contain the opposite or shadow of our conscious thought to allow a radical and permanent change.

            Ritual space is temporary, we move into it to begin and out at completion.  Addictive space is different in that we compulsively must go back over and over again as the change is not permanent.


Unclear boundaries

Uncertain edges

Unbounded time

Ambiguous space

Not identified with past

Archetype emerges

All structure is dissolved and reformed










Encounter S.B. guards

Encounter shadow




            The blessing from the father/mother is about teaching the child how to identify a true King/Queen, how to find them in the outside world and what to expect from them.

            However, since the parents have never been truly blessed and have never known the King/Queen in their own lives, they must rely on their own experience to teach their children.  They pass on what they have learned from their parents, who passed it on from theirs, and so on...

            The son or daughter accepts what the parents are able to give and leaves the home to fulfill their innate desire to succeed at some mysterious and meaningful quest - to make it in the world.

            However, when the family blessing was not received, the children go into the world wounded, defective, flawed and shamed.   They are unable to identify or find a true King or Queen to set them on their Quest.  Instead, acting out of their best attempt at success over and over again the children find themselves without the fulfillment desired.  They become discouraged and turn to prover survival beliefs handed down from their ancestors.

            The King/Queen also represents the Father/Mother and Higher Power in us all.  We live in a time when the true King/Queen are buried and going through rejuvenation.  During those times when their light is absent Chaos or the Shadow side reigns and many people step into positions that, to the young children, seem like King or Queen positions for all outward appearances.  Yet, without the blessing from the parents, who should know what is needed to be successful, we fail to see that inner wisdom is missing in these self appointed kings and queens.





            Generativity     Decentralized

            Fertility           Openness

            Creativity         Grace

            Empowerment  Mercy





Acts By:

            Long term thinking






Recognized by others because:

            He will gather powerful people around him.

            Constantly admires his people for their unique contribution.

            Initiates and promotes his people.

            Creates sacred space and improves realm.

            Rules through cooperation.

            All emotions appropriate to situations.

            Trusts people to do the right thing.


"D" Questionnaire

YES                 NO      Do you seek approval and affirmation?        


YES                 NO      Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?


YES                 NO      Do you fear criticism?


YES                 NO      Do you overextend yourself?


YES                 NO      Have you had problems with compulsive behavior?


YES                 NO      Do you have a need for things to be perfect?


YES                 NO      Even when life is going smoothly, do you anticipate problems?


YES                 NO      Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?


YES                 NO      Do you feel responsible for others well being?


YES                 NO      Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to take care of your own                                     needs?


YES                 NO      Do you keep barriers between yourself and other people?


YES                 NO      Do you respond with anxiety to authority figures and angry people?


YES                 NO      Do you feel that people in general are taking advantage of you?


YES                 NO      Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?


YES                 NO      Do you attract and seek people who tend to be compulsive?


YES                 NO      Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of  being alone?


YES                 NO      Do you often mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?


YES                 NO      Do you find it difficult to express your emotions honestly?


YES                 NO      Do you think parental behavior may have affected your adult success?



"S" Questionnaire

YES                 NO      Do you feel like you're trying to give birth to some new aspect of                           your life, yet the clarity of it seems just out of reach?


YES                 NO      Do you ever feel like you would like to abandon everything and                              start anew?


YES                 NO      Would you like to re-work your attitudes and personality around a                                     new, wiser you?


YES                 NO      Does the thought flash in your mind that there must be something               else you should be doing to give your life meaning?


YES                 NO      Do things in your life seem less meaningful as time goes on?


YES                 NO      Is there an unrecognizable tension inside you that makes you feel                            like you are going to fly apart at times - like you must be a little                                    crazy?


YES                 NO      Are the ideas and desires of friends and family becoming more                                 trivial compared to what you think has more meaning?


YES                 NO      Do you feel like you have outgrown aspects of your life that used                           to hold excitement and challenge?


YES                 NO      Did you expect to be further along with achieving your personal                              and professional goals by this time in your life?


YES                 NO      Have you gotten to the top of the ladder and found that it's                                     against the wrong roof?


YES                 NO      Does the way  your company managed itself seem chaotic,                          misdirected, somehow missing the potential it could demonstrate?


YES                 NO      Has your idealism taken a few too many hard blows and you feel                            its more difficult to maintain your integrity?


YES                 NO      Have you recently experienced grief over remembering past events              or failures in your life?


YES                 NO      Are you unable to communicate how you really feel to people                                 who are close to you, that they would not understand the                                    changes going on inside, that they might feel you have lost                           contact with reality?





            Read each of the 25 statements below and decide how much each one pertains to you.  Using the rating scale of:


            Put the number that best fits you in the blank beside each statement.


____                1.         I prefer to do most things myself rather than ask for help.

____                2.         I get very impatient when I have to wait for someone else or when                          something takes too long, such as long, slow-moving lines.

____                3.         I seem to be in a hurry and racing against the clock.

____                4.         I get irritated when I am interrupted while I am in the middle of                               something.

____                5.         I stay busy and keep many "irons in the fire."

____                6.         I find myself doing two or three things at one time, such as eating lunch                              and writing a memo, while talking on the telephone.

____                7.         I overly commit myself by biting off more than I can chew.

____                8.         I feel guilty when I am not working on something.

____                9.         It is important that I see the concrete results of what I do.

____         10. I am more interested in the final result of my work than in the process.

____         11.  Things just never seem to move fast enough or get done fast enough for                              me.

____         12.  I lose my temper when things don't go my way or work out to suit me.

____         13.  I ask the same question over again, without realizing it, after I've already                             been given the answer once.

____         14.  I spend a lot of time mentally planning and thinking about future events                             while tuning out the here and now.

____         15.  I find myself continuing to work after my co-workers have called it quits.

____         16.  I get angry when people don't meet my standards of perfection.

____         17. I get upset when I am in situations where I cannot be in control.

____         18.  I tend to put myself under pressure with self-imposed deadlines when I                             work.

____         19.  It is hard for me to relax when I'm not working.

____         20.  I spend more time working than on socializing with friends, on hobbies or                          on leisure activities.

____         21.  I dive into projects to get a head start before all the phases have been                                  finalized.

____         22.  I get upset with myself for making even the smallest mistake.

____         23.  I put more thought, time and energy into my work than I do into my                                  relationships with my spouse (or significant other) and family.

____         24.  I forget, ignore or minimize important family celebrations such as                            birthdays, reunions, anniversaries or holidays.

____         25.  I make important decisions before I have all the facts and have a chance                              to think them through thoroughly.

                           TOTAL SCORE



The Acceleration Syndrome is present when we:


            •  Regularly act and process multiple tasks and information at the same time.

            •  Compulsively turning up the level of noise and chaos to feel right.

            •  Live at an accelerated pace, with relentless intensity and constant stimulation.


            It becomes a problem when there is less and less a choice and more and more an addictive-complusive need to live this way.  We choose time-urgent, high intensity lives and often become habituated to a high level of stress.  We become chemically addicted to the rush of adrenaline which is maintained by living life at this high level of excitement. We begin to hyper-edit everything in our life, yet never fully engaged in what we're presently doing.  We speed along the surface feeling little meaning in what we do.

            If we keep up this pace for extended periods we will suffer life damaging consequences at home, at work and in our personal relationships.


As a results of living at this accelerated pace we:


            Live life in the future.

            Have addictive overdoses of adrenaline in our system.

            Only skim the surface of life's meaning.

            Never take enough quality time for introspection on our life.

            Miss out on the nurturing of relationships, friendships, or children.

            Substance and process abuse to maintain accelerated pace.

            Have more health problems such as: high blood pressure, heart attacks, ulcers, over/under weight, abnormal number of colds/flus, and irritability, impatience, anxiety, fear, phobias, intensity, aggression and anger.






PURPOSE      What business are we in?


INPUT (ME/I)           Where do we get our resources?


PROCESS       How do we produce results?


OUTPUT       What are our products and rewards?


SUBSYSTEMS           What functions do we perform?


BOUNDARIES          What are our rules, roles and responsibilities?


ENVIRONMENT      How do we fit into the larger system?


FEEDBACK   How are we monitored and regulated?


LEADERSHIP            Who is in charge and when?







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