Summary of Relationship and Behavior

• People are defined more clearly by their Intentions than by their behavior. Our Core Intention’s are to be seen, understood, accepted, chosen and valued. Getting attention from others is the original purpose of behavior.

• Where two people are in relationship, there are at the very least four participants present. Two behavior sets and two independent Selves. • When reacting to another, we only see behavior. Reacting leaves residue, which lowers productivity.

• When responding to another, we see their behavior & speak to their intentions. Responding improves results and productivity.

• Our default wiring always cycles back & forth between ACTING OUT and getting ATTENTION. Optimally we will ACT OUT to get ATTENTION in order to be SEEN, UNDERSTOOD, ACCEPTED, CHOSEN and VALUED. 

• Threshold conversations involve a specific person acting out a specific behavior that does not help in resolving a misunderstanding. The behavior is always one we are hypersensitive to based on our childhood conditioning. The solution requires us to use a contrary behavior to counteract a default reaction.

• Techniques:
• Contrary Behavior
• Deeper Listening & Questioning Questions
• Top Ten Negative Behavior List

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© Scott Taylor 2016