Relationship Development

Relationship Development will give you the theory and skill to resolve personal communication barriers, pitfalls & misunderstandings.  

Take the
 Introductory Tour if this is your first time visiting us.
We will begin by focusing on the universal cause of communication obstacles and end with a careful implementation of skills you can use immediately at work or at home.

Life is about relationship.
Relationship is about a conversation.
Conversation affirms either value or shame.
Value adds to life. Shame diminishes life.

Relationship is the cornerstone of life. We are in relationship to every body and every thing.  
Relationship gives meaning to activities, thoughts, family and work. Everything! A human flaw is to not see the encompassing possibility of this reality-the totality of relationship.

We are taught to survive in a small, personal hovel which we create and govern.  We are taught to accept our lot in life and fight tooth and nail to preserve - even if it is counter to life.  

First lets talk about relationship at the ten-thousand foot level. Billions of galaxies in relation to each other.  Billions of solor systems in relationship to each other. Billions of planets in relation to solar systems and galaxies. Billions of people in relationship to each other. Billions of cells in relationship to atomic structures. Trillions of atoms in relationship to the Universe. We are stating a fact about our physical universe. It is the way we see and experience it. 

Those are hard, physical facts. Here are some soft, humanoid facts. Humans, in relationship to each other, have an emotional component based on life experience.  It is wired into our bodies, reflected on by our minds and displayed by the body. This component is endlessly interesting and endlessly unreliable. 

 The body has abilities and limitations. The mind has preferences.  Learned preferences which effect emotions, which then direct behavior in any given situation. We learn and develop this emotional component from parents and caregivers. Behavior is the result of a chain of processes that are triggered in daily life. Our behavioral range is what others use to describe who we are.  Our personality is the result of how we learned to handle appreciation and rejection.  

So why do we pick certain friends, mates, bosses or neighbors? 

Lets start off in the middle of the explanation of why we pick certain people in our life with a question? 

 "Why do we treat our mates and children different than complete strangers or close friends?"  
You would think that the people we love would get our best behavior 

“Why do some people lie to, cheat, kill, or abuse those they claim to love?” 

Answer: Love relationships are unnatural given the relationship models we are taught by parents and guardians. 

Being married and living together for an extended time is unnatural. Staying together for the children is unnatural.
The degree you disagree with these statements is the degree you are enmeshed in the relationship model you were taught.  

Reflect for a moment: Are you able to feel that you both react to and respond to these above statements. They are true and untrue depending on the situation. We all know of good and of troubled relationships. But can we really subscribe to the unnatural part also mentioned above? 

Again the Answer: Love relationships are unnatural given the relationship models we are taught by parents and guardians. 

Relationship models are made up from our caretakers own model for relationship: How did they do?
Relationship models are hardwired in our bodies and minds: How do you feel your relationship is going?
Hardwiring is made up of beliefs, preferences and experience: What are your core beliefs? 

Bottom line: All of our relationships are based on what is missing in us. What is missing is being seen, understood, accepted, chosen and valued by a significant person who themselves knows how to be seen, understood, chosen, accepted and valued.

Copyright © 2016 Scott Taylor Consulting  All Rights Reserved.

© Scott Taylor 2016