6 - Reactive Behavior

Reactive behavior can range from silence to violence. Hardwired silence to violence can pop up in conversations with a co-worker, a family member or with a complete stranger. We may get their attention, but it is only temporary.

We are in a REACTIVE mode (hardwiring) when focused primarily on another person’s behavior. The proof is in a feeling of RESIDUE that comes up during & after we have had a conversation that did not go well. In the end, we were able to get the other persons ATTENTION, but not the RESULTS we desired.

  • Reactive behavior is a reaction to the hardwired behavior of other people who are trying to get your attention.
  • Reactive behavior often results in defensiveness, misunderstandings and repression of true feelings. In truth, the person we are currently reacting to is not the source of our reaction.
  • Reactive behavior often pushes others away intellectually, emotionally and physically. 
  • Reactive behavior leaves behind residue and makes future conversations uncomfortable.
  • Reactive behavior is present when you hear: Polar Language - such as: right/wrong, good/bad or black/white statements or Ultimate Statements - such as: always/never, everybody/nobody, and fact/truth statements.


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