Projection and Shadow

Projection, introduces another adjustment (i.e., Survival Child & Enforcer split) made by the psyche during early childhood. This adjustment is the creating of the “Shadow” repository and its associated process of “Projection.”

The shadow was created to define and protect our sense of Self through comparison of our behavior with others. When we become adults, these automatic processes of “define and protect” feel as comfortable as an old coat. These projections repetitiously come out of the shadow, are affixed to others, regardless of the negative impact this behavior has on our being successful in life. 

This new aspect of our developing psyche is the: 

Shadow - It is our sub-conscious & volatile repository for behaviors. These are behaviors we acted out in childhood and were met with an exaggerated emotional reaction from caregivers. The result of the emotional conflict caused us to repress that specific behavior into the deeper unconscious, our shadow. It is from this unconscious, shadow repository that these emotionally charged behaviors are projected onto others like heat-seeking missiles. We have a fierce and fanatical investment in finding our shadow behaviors in others. By finding it in others, we feel a relief, a sense of, “At least I’m not like that.” 

The new process that allows communication a degree of orderliness is:

Projection - An unconscious, automatic process whereby our own unconscious shadow content, after being observed or heard in others behavior, is projected and fixed on that person. Projection is functional when used to clarify communications, i.e., who should talk/listen and when. It is dysfunctional when the projected behavior characteristic stops the conversation from giving both people what they mutually desire – to communicate their core intentions. 

 An example of projection might be seeing someone behave in a self-centered way. Moreover, lets say we were severely and repeatedly disciplined as children to not be self-centered. According to the process of projection, we will be hypersensitive to and aware of other people acting out in a self-centered way. We will make a relative comparison with their degree of self-centeredness and ours. If theirs is less than ours, we will feel personally ‘less good’ as a person. If they are more self-centered, we will feel ‘good’ about ourselves.

As an infant we repeat this cycle endlessly. With each cycle, minute family behaviors take on import. They determine how to survive in this family. Later as adults, they show up most obviously in our preferences. Even on the job we must work at fitting in, to behave correctly. 

The UNKNOWN aspect of the unconscious is created and strengthened when the search-to-find pattern is altered. It registers as “my search must have been wrong.” If mother did not come when I whimpered, I accelerate the search with a scream. This acceleration of searching behavior continues into adult life as the way to get seen.

Our patterns of relaxing, sleeping, waking and searching begin to alter as we instinctually try to survive disruptions in simple attention getting patterns. This is the conditioning process every child goes through. 

Projection: Manifestation in Everyday Life 

As we mature into adolescence the shadow takes on a dominant role in how we interact with others. As can be seen above, the survival child, and the two wounds become obscured, though no less powerful. The shadow makes it’s influence known to us through our strong reactions, opinions, and preferences for what is “right and wrong” in other peoples behavior. 

PROJECTION is defined as the release from the psyche (shadow) of a characteristic, a behavior we don’t want others to see in us, on to another person, who is in fact acting out that behavior. This is what makes it so difficult to see the projected characteristic in us. The other person is physically/emotionally acting out and we are not. People around us also agree that the object of our projection, the person, is acting angry, uncooperative, territorial or defensive. How could it be the projector who is the problem?

By reflecting on my projections on others when disturbed and by asking what's missing inside myself, I have developed a primary relationship with a Core, a sense of Home or Self.


This primary relationship is experienced in those projections on others and through my conscious reflection of the Self personified inside me.  Through this process I am offered options, choices and alternatives to negotiate my days and nights. 


It is through grace that I continue to take the next step, to face directly my deepest pain, fear and grief.  It is for the stability, sureness, and connectedness received that I trace and re-trace my tangled web of mental-emotional lines, threads and linkages.  They as a whole make sense unconsciously; yet consciously show only my self-centeredness.


Moment by moment I step into this relationship, present myself and then make choices.  I then can act on my choice with 100% responsibility. 


The ability to choose is life’s gift, Holy Jelly I call it.  The open-ended nature of the process is such that my choice and action may either heal or be lethal to both those I love and to myself. 


My goal is to keep the body free of tension, the mind free of stagnant beliefs, and the heart free to feel original feelings.  Creating the time and space to be free is difficult.  Life is not suffering; it's just that we will choose to suffer it rather than enjoy it. Learn to go for the ride freely, no matter what happens.


The physical brain is real.  The mind is an outgrowth of cerebral collisions with the environment.  Mind is an obstruction, an aggravation, a kind of evolutionary mistake.  The brain is a tool - but when it can't stop thinking it's possessed by mind.  When the mind resists life, thoughts arise.  Thought is an unconscious re-action to life.  When you resist what's happening your mind begins to speed up and creates ripples.  The ripples have nothing to do with you.  Learn to just watch them go by.

Insight is the willing of attention, the channeling of awareness to focus precisely on what you want to see.  Surrender is letting all arising thoughts go by without linking them into solid patterns.


My consciousness is not in my body - rather my body is in my consciousness. 


Primary Relationship


         Primary Relationship is:

                  The Self

                  Essential Unity of All

                  The Source of Life

                  The Great Mystery

                  The Way

                  A Higher Power

                  The Ultimate Resource

                  Primitive, Passionate and Powerful


1.      Primary Relationship is an open system lived by choice.

3.      Once planted in the earth people grow, flower and evolve in their awareness of the Primary Relationship.

4.      The underlying principles & moral codes of Primary Relationship evolve by choices made through time.

5.      The beliefs, creeds, variety, complexity or multiple forms of life only add to the    mix of Primary Relationship.

6.      Primary Relationship is not a system to be completed - the process is unlimited and endless - like choice.

7.      Knowing Primary Relationship is achieved through direct and indirect contact.

8.      The evolution of awareness of Primary Relationship moves from the uncomplicated to the highly complex and then to a higher level of simplicity.

9.      Higher simplicity is earmarked by humor and intimacy.

10.    All beliefs, interpretations, categories, classifications, actions, choices, thoughts, feelings, expectations, attitudes, desires, fears and judgments are made null through their opposites.

11.    Change your thinking, attitude or choice and you change your world.

12.    Your relation to Primary Relationship is only a perspective.

13.    Primary Relationship is unlimited choice and creativity.    

14.    The present is the moment of power and choice creating  the future whether positive or negative. 

15.    There are no ordinary moments.

16.    The two aspects of Primary Relationship are being and becoming - both are processes.

17.    Knowledge about Primary Relationship is functional, not factual.

18.    Trust yourself to choose the best, not the easiest.

Copyright © 2020 Scott Taylor Consulting  All Rights Reserved.

© Scott Taylor 2020