*Hardwiring


  • Life is about relationships.
  • Relationships are based on conversation. 
  • Conversation is constrained by early childhood models of relationship. 
  • Our relationship model (hardwiring) is given to us by our parents.
  •  This model determine our success or failure in relationship.  

What Is Hardwiring?

Our hardwiring is the primary-default behavior we act out when stressed and feel threatened. Hardwiring will over-ride morality, laws, allegiances, vows, free-will, beliefs, commitments, contracts, ethics, obligations, children’s needs and good intentions. Hardwiring explains the reason for the saying, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Hardwiring is always reactive. Only with understanding hardwiring can we choose the option to be responsive in conversation.

Where Does Hardwiring Originate? 

Parents and authority figures (projecting what’s missing in themselves onto their children) create hardwiring. Hardwiring is identified by the unconscious-reactive behavior seen as repeditive, habitual acting out under stress. 

The shadow contains the unconscious-reactive behavior. For ease of talking about the shadow we have named them the survival child, the  the Golem. Each has a set of behaviors we can identify. The survival child is self-centered, selfish and scared of loosing connection with others.  The Golem is more mature, adult-like and sticks to rules it has learned from parents.

How Does Hardwiring Impact Our Lives?

Hardwiring is the reason marriages end, children & spouses are abused, jobs are lost, and substance abuse is so difficult to overcome. Theft, bribery, assault, murder, forgery, bigotry, embezzlement, lying, rage, gangs, get rich schemes, depression, getting high, and cheating all have their genesis in hardwiring. 

Hardwiring is also the genesis of your preferences, personality, view on life and spiritual inclinations. Inclinations are a person's natural tendency or urge to act or feel in a particular way. Inclinations here are ones we have learned to feel normal and safe.


Copyright © 2016 Scott Taylor Consulting  All Rights Reserved.

© Scott Taylor 2016